September 13, 2013
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Bad Boys
Something really surprised me in therapy on Wednesday. My counselor said I was attracted to bad boys. I was like, nuh-unh. She was all, uh-huh. She was referring to Josh.
*Mindblown*
Really? Is this true? How long has it been true?! He can't be a bad boy, he is a military man, in law enforcement. A rescuer, a hero. She just looked at me and said, "the military is inherently a place for bad boys." WHAT! I argued eloquently, with just one word.
I continued, "No. The Coast Guard is different. They are rescuers. Their symbol is a shield, not a sword. They are protectors."
She replied, "Have you ever been to the Beirut Memorial here? 'They came in peace.' The Marines are not just a sword either. No military branch is solely aggressive in nature. All have protective, peaceful services too. You should visit the Memorial sometime."
Humbled, I sat in silence.
And I thought.
Why was I attracted to Josh to begin with? What bad boy element might I find if I looked for it? What would I have needed from a bad boy at all?
The answers, to my complete shock, came flooding to me. Why him? Why a military man? Because I felt protected. Who better to guard me than a professional.
Bad boy elements? Sure. If I try, I can find 'em. He was a drag racer. We snuck around. He took me to racetracks late at night. There was nothing stock about his sponsored car, which was obnoxiously loud and kind of annoyed me. He smoked Black & Milds when he drank. Never around me, though. He has close to, maybe more than, 20 tattoos. When we went places, girls freaking hated my guts. And that was because he didn't give one hot damn about them, his eyes (and hands) were on me.
Well crap. I did pick a bad boy. A bad boy who I knew would be a skilled, trained protector. A bad boy doesn't, it turns out, exclude law enforcement. How silly that I'd defined it so.
And here's the part where I'll relate it to others. Why do good girls, or any girls, pick bad boys? I can only speak for myself when I tell you that it's because there is an inherent need to feel that you're with someone who can protect you when or if it becomes necessary - and not get himself killed in the process. That is a turn on, to know that he very literally has your back and you have nothing to fear. Because then? You can close your eyes, open your arms, and let go. Let it all go. There is nothing more freeing than that. And that is the real attraction to bad boys. Freedom. It's primal.
Happy Friday the 13th.
Comments (4)
Agghh, today's Friday the 13th? I don't think I would have realized. Thanks.
But yeah, good post.
Interesting, I wouldn't have said that police or military were bad boys but I would agree with being with someone that can and will protect you
It is inherent in nature that the most desirable females are sought after by the most aggressive males. The male is the protector and provider while the female is the nurturer. There are exceptions. The bad boy is typically the tough guy. This bad boy however has a soft spot for beautiful women puppies and kittens.
I actually would have said that law inforcement/military attracts 'bad boys'... mainly because I have read a lot about that for some reason. As for why women are attracted to bad boys... it probably varies slightly depending on the woman and their life experiences. Many are probably looking for a protector like you and then, I imagine, there are the woman who subconsciously look for the really bad men either because they don't believe they deserve better or because they only feel safe when they are dominated.
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