September 18, 2013
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Coffee Advice Needed
Speaking of Coffee, I used to live in Coffee County, Georgia. Fact. From '92-'99ish. I know I graduated high school there in '98 but that I started college somewhere else in '99. Yes I took a year off. Why? Because people are judgmental buttheads when it comes to unconventional decisions perceived to be "lower" than expected. It took time for me to fight the good fight and decide the good decisions.
That was a tangent.
COFFEE.
I think I am becoming an adult. Finally. How do I know this? I can now enjoy a good cuppa Joe. This is the standard of what it means to be an adult - didn't you know?! But a good cup of it has been hard for me to figure out. My tastes are acquiring and the thing is, I have a sensitive tongue.
hahahaha lol lol lol (OK maybe I'm not so mature yet)
I'm damn picky, but it's hard to describe. I will try. Lend your knowledgeable ears, friends, Romans, and Countrymen.
Coffee usually tastes too watery. By this I do not mean it isn't strong enough. I mean it feels thin. Watery. Like tea feels. Don't get me wrong, I love tea (loose leaf FTW). But when coffee feels thicker, nuttier (lol hahahaha!), I like it more.
So what is my deal? I don't know enough about coffee to understand what it is I like or don't. That makes it hard for me to know before I put it in my mouth (LOL!) if I'm gonna like it. Help me out. It isn't that the coffee isn't strong enough, it's that it isn't thick enough.
I guess I like all things in my mouth to be thick and dark. (Right, Riis? Too far?) LIKE CHOCOLATE AND COFFEE. I'm just talking about about coffee. Immature brats.
Like, would a French Press help me out? Or, I read that getting a cone filter and boiling my own water and pouring and stirring it myself into this cone filter would yield a thicker brew. Which sounds a little pain-in-the-buttish. Get me started with this conversation, I will be commenting and commenting back.
HELP ME DRINK GOOD COFFEE. My mouth (and tongue) needs you. Specifically. Yes you.
Comments (13)
The best brewing method is with a percolator. But DON'T DO IT. Everybody hates the noise. You will lose all you friends. I mention it just for the sake of completeness.
A cone filter is messy and a pain in the ass, because you have to wait until your boiled water cools to 170 degrees. Bah. A Mister Coffee brewer does the job as well as anything.
Now, thickness -- you seem to have a Cuban palate. This means you need Expresso Coffee. And not just any expresso, but Cuban style Expresso. Look for BUSTELLO in the supermarket. I like to add half a cup of it to my regular brand. But try it straight at least once as an experiment.
My regular brand is store-brand French roast. There is no point in paying for gourmet stuff. But when I want gourmet, it is dark italian roast, whole bean. Sooner or later you have to get a grinder, about $15.00. Oh Jesus, that dark italian is good.
Keep on sucking, dear.
A percolator, huh? I never heard of that. Totally looking it up and taking it into consideration. No worries, I have no friends to lose. My husband is gone before I wake up, and my kids? LOL! Their opinion doesn't matter.
OK I'm nixing the cone filter officially.
Cuban palate. Interesting. QUESTION: The espresso I have had before tasted burnt to me (not appetizing). Is this a common complaint of espresso or Cuban styled coffee? When I googled "BUSTELO" (which I was certain was going to be porn) some said it had a burnt taste. I wondered if that was by design or user error. I don't know.
Your near orgasm describing the dark Italian and whole bean grinding was a definite turn on. I will look into that, I think I want to suck some of that down. For sure.
I mean, you're supposed to mix the Bustelo with boiling water and drink the whole thing. I don't do that. I am not an authentic Cuban.
Try combining Bustelo grounds with your regular grounds and then brewing it. There is no burnt taste.
I have been doing this for decades. And I am still alive!
Ok, so you're selling me on the bean (but I thought the water wasn't supposed to be quite boiling or bitterness would rear her ugly head - which I definitely experience the taste difference with tea temperature, too).
My thing now is: I'm not gonna use a drip coffee maker. I know for sure I dislike the consistency of what comes out of them. From repeated trial in many places from home to hotel to workplace to restaurant. I don't like dripped coffee. Soooo. That leaves me with, as I understand it, French Press, Percolator, or what about something like a Bialetti stovetop espresso maker? I read that that's what's most commonly used for Cuban styled coffee and that pretty much every home in Italy has one. Cuban. Italian. This sounds like it's right up your alley.
But I don't know what the big difference is between them principally and what would make a tastier, richer, thicker cup.
Oh yes, percolated coffee is the best... and espresso too... yes ! Now I am craving a good cuppa joe... meaning good as in percolated or espresso. I'll have to get in touch with my daughter and tell her I want some espresso... she has the means to make it. Or maybe I should just pay her a visit.
Ok so, a Moka machine or a Percolator. Hmmm.
If only I knew for sure what I liked. Where could I go and what would I order to taste something similar to what we've discussed??
"... what would make a tastier, richer, thicker cup."
espresso all the way !
I percolate my coffee on the weekends. I have a stainless steel coffeepot I picked up at a camping goods store and use it all the time on my gas range. It makes the absolute best coffee. Second best is I also have a cone filter and simple pour the hot water through the grounds and it filters straight into my cup. more grounds and less time soaking in the water yields a richer fuller bodied brew
Well snapple. As soon as I start to lean one way. So you like to percolate, but only on the weekends. Why, I have to ask, only on the weekends?
Wow! The things I miss when I'm super busy at work! (that's a story for another time). But can I just say... I love, LOVE the way you write. No, seriously. I have this uncontrollable urge to smile from ear to ear because you are so freakin' witty and entertaining.
Um, that was a tangent too. :-/
Anyway, I prefer Kona Coffee blend from Hawaii because I was spoiled when I vacationed there one year. I love the smell and the feel of it. But, sans the Kona, my taste leans toward adding something sweet, white and creamy. This adds a bit of extra viscosity and I tend to roll that around on my tongue for a while before swallowing. You know, just for the tactile experience.
Yes, you are always free (read: encouraged) to profess your love here. You do not need to ask permission for this again, my silly stud-muffin.
When I wrote this piece, I completely had you in mind. I already knew that you had a similar oral fixation, and that once you knew I needed some extra instruction on what's most pleasing, you'd be hard pressed not to help! I love that about you, you are a giver.
You touched on something I neglected, as well (thank goodness you're so thorough). I do enjoy adding cream to my cup. But, and it's a big but, it has to be the real stuff. Whipped by hand.
Sigh. Will I ever learn what it is that pleases me the most? I just want a good damn cup of coffee.
I don't really drink the stuff. I just use a Mr. Coffee espresso maker and drink stuff from a company here in Wisconsin.
I've always heard that the kopi luwak is the best coffee but that's the coffee beans that are eaten by wild cats and then pooped out.
I mean, I know wild pussycats are fun to watch and play around with. But if they are shitting out what you've heard is supposed to be the good stuff, they aren't doing it right. They're going at it way too fast. Slow, warm, and steady wins this race, silly pussies. Meow!
I have been using a Mr Coffee latte maker, which I liked at first but it isn't cutting it for me anymore. I guess he was my first lover, a great intro. Gentle and sweet, mild. Now I need it stronger. Thicker. More blatant.
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