June 1, 2013
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Nighttime Confessions
Number one, you should know before we begin that Josh made me a huge effing alcoholic drink that I drank. All of. Therefore, I'm officially B.U.I. Blogging Under the Influence. Here are my confessions and things I need to say.
HAPPY NAUGHTY BIRTHDAY, JOHNNY! I should tag you so you see this, since I'm pretty sure you read via subs, sneaky boy. @amateurprose
Hey, I committed a crime tonight. I stole a dvd from Walmart. It was on accident, and isn't even a good fucking dvd. It is entirely in Spanish. Note: I speak English, not Spanish. Bad steal! And it was an accident. It was between two storage bins, which we never separated until we got home. Oops.
Also, have you ever felt like the less attractive partner in a relationship? It's a complex feeling. A mix of pride, like, hey, I got that! And, oh shit, eventually he'll realize I'm not at his attractiveness level. Shit.
Did I mention I've been drinking? Hard? Like a pirate? Rum? You would, too, given my gd circumstances.
Life is falling apart. Ignore it. Keep walking. Eventually, you will pass the Swamps of Sadness.
Comments (12)
Josh just informed me that B.U.I. means Boating Under the Influence, officially. So pardon me.
Certainly there's more confessions than this, right??
Yes, I'm encouraging you. 
I thought it was Burping Under the Influence!
@Donkey_Guy_10 - Well that isn't ladylike at all. We ladies never burp.
Someone once told me that stealing from WalMart doesn't count because they are a big organization and they have crappy pay with no insurance for their employees. So go back and steal again.
@TheTheologiansCafe - Apparently, all you have to do is buy a couple of storage bins, they're like five bucks a piece. Then put the merchandise between the bins, in a stack. The cashiers don't want to hold things up by taking them apart. It's a good scam. Oops.
Oh no one is better looking then anyone... It's just we appeal differently to different people... You think your love is better looking because you're sexually attracted to him more then you are to your self. lol
@MommyMarty24 - That is probably one of the wisest things I've ever read.
@PrincessPowers - I can't tell if you are being serious or if that is sarcasm... Either way it would make me smile!
@MommyMarty24 - I'm so freaking serious.
I feel the same way sometimes, it's natural and I have to say @MommyMarty24 nailed it.
And I am with Riis @MyxlDoveon these confessions, but BUI can be a bad thing though. Hope you don't regret anything once you sober up dear. Lots of coffee!!!
Oh, and I think the police are at the front door . . . something about a DVD. . . good thing you moved. LOL
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