May 4, 2013
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Mayday
I'm so frustrated with so many things right now. I'm doing my best to be patient, patient with people, patient with situations. But the truth is, the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I've been left feeling stunned over the course of the last 4 days.
I'm doing my best to sit back and let the cards fall where they may, having done what I could for the people involved. But it's making me crazy. I have all these feelings bottled up inside. Feelings of hurt, loss, fear, love, and betrayal. And I can't do anything about it. I just have to sit back. And let it fall.
That doesn't come naturally for me. I want everyone (including me) and everything to be OK. I want things to be back to normal. I want to erase the foolishness that has effected me and some very important people in my life. Drama for the sake of it. It couldn't be anything else, or honesty and up front behavior and communication would have been present. Not secrecy. Not hushed conversations. Not judgmental (and completely erroneous) name-calling about people I care for.
Let it be. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
It's so hard to do.
Comments (6)
UGH, so sorry you are going through this, but it seems you have a good head on your shoulder sweetie and are going about it pretty well. Proud of you!!!
@olwd - I'm really trying, Amy. It does consume my thoughts. I'm going to have to distract myself soon, so I don't lose it and cry all day again. It's bad for my skin. Between the stress and the tears (and because the crying has been so deep, yes, the runny nose, too) I've gotten 3 pimples over this. Fuckers.
LOL!!! I'm sorry. Bad girl potty mouth to try and relieve stress.
LOL, potty mouth!!!! LOL, don't apologize to me about that dear, you didn't say it to me or about me, so no worries hun. I hope you can get through this with as little more stress than you already have.
@olwd - Sigh. Thank you. I know you mean it.
I was going to offer some words of support and comfort, but after reading this love fest, I'll just sit back and observe.
Nevertheless, just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you today, Superwoman. 
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